Love is not something I hand out easily. It takes a whole lot to trust enough to be able to let my guard down and expose my soft interior. My love is a degree even further beyond that. So far away that “on the horizon” doesn’t apply here. Unreachable by any conceivable means, but when you hit it…it’s more the impact to myself that I have to brace myself for. Continue Reading
personal
All posts tagged personal
I’ll admit, I refrained from writing a new post for a couple of days because the post I had in my mind to write was a bit too personal. But that is the essence of just writing about what comes to your mind right? To be inspired at any moment by anything and put the pen to paper..or fingers to keyboard..or in this case, thumbs to phone screen and just let the words flow. I promise I don’t write for sympathy. I don’t even really do it for attention, although I love interacting with other bloggers. I do it because it’s my way to get my thoughts out when I don’t feel they can be conversations I can have with my usual crowd of friends.
Typing just feels like I’m telling myself.
Hitting publish feels like I’m having a conversation with someone who will understand me. Get my brand of humor. Someone that doesn’t mind taking a brain trip with me. Someone that can relate. I get to be uninhibited with my honesty.
It feels a little less alone.
..Caution. This may be a long one..
I have a heavy burden upon me as this week closes. It resides in the back of my mind accompanying every thought. It lays its head upon my very soul. I have the highly stressful task of coming out to my younger brothers this weekend. Yes, I am happy they are finally at the age where, according to their mom, they are old enough to understand. Yes, I am scared shitless because I am an over-thinker that always instantly extrapolates the outcome of a situation to be the worst imaginable. Yes, I know it has to be done eventually.
No, I am not ready. Continue Reading
I guess there arose a moment of life reflection while I was in the back seat of the Explorer laying on my little brother while he was asleep on the drive back home. It was comfortable. We had a long way to go. To be fair, he always makes me his pillow so I guess this was a little “brotherly justice”.
We were out celebrating my other brother’s 16th birthday on Saturday at a steakhouse in New Jersey that he wanted to go to. The food was awesome. The drive was awesome too. It has been so weird, yet wonderful, watching my brother cross these teenage years. From his whiny and temperamental early pubescent phase to the cool and full of himself venture into “young man” status. He is really growing up fast and I couldn’t be more proud of the dude he’s becoming. It’s also pretty cool seeing the ways he takes after me and what he does better than me. Continue Reading
Well, hello there. I guess this is the first post of my now fully migrated, coarsely designed, and live blog. Of course I want my first post to be all “life changing” or “deep”, but I just want to type something to get moving. Hopefully, well maybe hopefully not, I can keep to my old writing style. I thought it was pretty good.
I type. I proofread as I go. I go quick. I don’t look back. I get out what’s on my mind. I usually catch most typos, but let’s be honest…I really don’t care that much. That’s a damn lie. Both of these sites have spellcheck, but it’s not like my page is corporate style or something.
Working in Queens for so long and living there brielfy, I’ve come to truely see that we from Brooklyn are of a different breed.
I had an interesting meeting with my boss. I thought it was going to be about the recent things that have been happening in my group of kids, but it turned to be about my static with a coworker of mine. Now I really dont like him. Like I can’t stand his guts, but I deal with him because my little brother decided to be in his volunteer program…love you anyway Anthony. We had an issue years ago that evolved into a personal one. Then some stuff with my brother a couple of months ago made me want to kick his ass…also love you again Anthony for stopping me. So there will always be tension between us, but I deal professionally. Plus I love how my boss got honest with me and was like I can’t beat him here because he has the personal relationship advantage. I got mad respect for that man.
But there’s that difference between me from the rest of these fools. I do indeed go hard for what I believe and won’t back down for it. Brooklynites, we either squash shit as if it never happened or we kicking ass…always definitively. Out here its “lets make an agreement and compromise.” I cant run with that.
Hence why I met with him after the meeting with my boss.
But this marks the beginning of the end for me at this job. Theres only so much I can take with them and I’m going crazy. Hopefully I get a higher paying job before the summer and don’t have to keep working there. …because Mikey and Anthony got me taking them on 2 seperate expensive ass trips so I cant just quit lol…
Just a couple more months of eating this shit then I get to walk away. Never look back. I need a new start somewhere.
Til next time. Stay frosty.
Boi Growing Up 