I’ll admit, I refrained from writing a new post for a couple of days because the post I had in my mind to write was a bit too personal. But that is the essence of just writing about what comes to your mind right? To be inspired at any moment by anything and put the pen to paper..or fingers to keyboard..or in this case, thumbs to phone screen and just let the words flow. I promise I don’t write for sympathy. I don’t even really do it for attention, although I love interacting with other bloggers. I do it because it’s my way to get my thoughts out when I don’t feel they can be conversations I can have with my usual crowd of friends.
Typing just feels like I’m telling myself.
Hitting publish feels like I’m having a conversation with someone who will understand me. Get my brand of humor. Someone that doesn’t mind taking a brain trip with me. Someone that can relate. I get to be uninhibited with my honesty.
It feels a little less alone.
I started this blog, this revival of the “Boi Growing Up”, on wordpress with a purpose. A purpose I was coerced into, but still meaningful. Even though I am new to here, some of you may have noticed that I have an obscene amount of posts. Especially when you take into account that I joined in September. It is actually the archive from my first blog that I started when I was just 14 or 15..I’d have to go back and look at when my I started. That was a project and a half haha.
And to think I started it because I was copying this other kid I wanted to be like.
Now I really love writing. I love jotting down my thoughts. I love giving my honest input whether or not it is warranted, but not if it’s going to make me an asshole. I am honest AND respectful. I love how it feels to purge myself on the screen. I love how it feels to go into what I’m really feeling and expose it. I love looking back at how my mind was and how it is evolving. And if you look back far enough, you will see that writing got me through a really bad place…twice. If I am being completely honest I’ll admit I even have my suicide note, as a private post, uploaded in that archive. It was so long, I split into 2 posts. And I managed to correct grammatical errors and flow of paragraphs.
I wouldn’t let the last piece of writing I’m remembered for be less than perfect. Even facing oblivion I am critical of everything.
Being honest, my blog is my safe zone. It is the extension of myself. I read on another blog (I don’t know how to correctly link back on mobile so I’m going to be lazy and not) that when you blog, you have to make a choice. “You either blog for yourself or for fame.” I exclusively blog for myself. Primarily it’s what I do. I’m not one of the bloggers here to make money off my page, although it’d be cool lol. I’m not one of the bloggers spreading some message for humanity, although I will undoubtedly write about them from time to time. I’m not one of those bloggers on the quest for the best site stats I can possibly achieve. This is my space. It is and will always be my “home away from home” because I believe we could all use a place like that. Just for ourselves. We don’t have to open the door if we don’t want to.
But I welcome all that stop by. I’m not afraid of people. Stay a while. I like the company. Have some tea.
That’s just me being honest. Honestly this is also the most disjointed post I’ve written in a long time. Like pure brain fart onto the screen. Don’t think me crazy. It’s just this space means more to me than I let on and I felt like I needed to say that. I will not lie. I will not fabricate. This will not be a journal because I don’t need one. I will, from time to time, include some personal references to help you understand my views on things.
This space is mine. I’m not gonna lie or hold anything back from myself. As a consequence, I guess you get a front row seat to all of me.
And how much I hate the winter…
Til next time. Stay frosty.