I think this might be the first ever post to exist on both my blogs at the same time and most likely the last. But I think needs to be actually openly admitted. Shit, I’ll probably censor the public version anyway.
I’ve never felt like I needed to or should apologize for who I was before, but I do feel like I need to apologize now. I’m not the same and that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m better now than before. Step 9 of the rehabilitation process is to contact the people who you’ve hurt and make amends for what you’ve done. I have hurt no one. So I skipped this with my explanation why.
In fact, it’s the opposite. I was of a greater service then than now.
Habitual rituals. We find comfort in that which we know. We always return to that which we know. Even if you say you love a “challenge”, in the background is always what you know.
This could’ve been a draft, but it’s not.
I think this is me say that I’m coming back. I belong here. This is where I know.
It’s too much mystery out there.
Would you like to take a journey with me?
It almost seems as if the last few posts have been inspired ever since I’ve gotten into a relationship, but no. I’ve just been having some things on my mind and the recent undulating of my emotions has me extra expressive.
Love conquers nothing.
It is stronger than nothing. It solves nothing. It excuses nothing. It literally is only there to make you superficially happy and has no other purpose.
Ooh…the glumness of that statement.
“Who does a man love more? The woman he lies to or the woman he tells the truth to?”
An open ended debate. Do I care more because I tried to protect you? Do I care more because I gave you honesty, even if it hurt you?
You ever just get the feeling of…”wander”? I just want to be somewhere else, somewhere different. Not particularly because I want to go there, wherever “there” is, but I just don’t want to be “here”. Take me anywhere.
“Here” is where my stress is. “Here” is where I have to work. “Here” is where I’m stuck in my apartment. “Here” is where I can’t be alone. “Here”, things are constantly moving and my soul needs to take a break. But if I stop running the routine while I’m here, then “here” will trample me. I just wanna be at a new “here”, a “there”.