We all have something that primarily makes up our drive. Something in this world, whether it be inside and of ourselves or an external factor, pushes us to carry on with everyday life. It pushes us to be something greater. Even to make a sacrifice. A sacrifice is just a price we voluntarily pay for a cause we deem worthy.
I think my worthy cause is my brothers.
I realized it today/tonight. I started a new job today. I just want to say first, this is the MOST STRENUOUS job I have ever had. I’m a porter at a university housing complex. If you know what that job is, congratulations because I kinda didn’t lol. Then if you see my resume, this is not a job for me. There is no reason I should be working there. Even my bestfriend lol’d at me.
But while I was on the brink of losing consciousness from being so physically fatigued at 11am.., I had super vivid thoughts. Maybe it was the slight delirium from the dehydration, I really wasn’t prepared for today, but my brothers came in my head. All the cool trips we’ve been on. All the trips we’ll be able to go on now I’m working again. ..cause this job pays a lot.. I was/am willing to keep pushing on, pushing out every inch of body strength I had because it would lead to making them smile.
Oh and this man will be buying himself an Xbox One for Christmas this year.
Then talking on the phone with my youngest teen bro for a super long time helping with his homework tonight reminded me why I keep my mind sharp. My high intelligence isn’t a secret. I constantly scored high on iq and aptitude tests since I weeee little boy on thee Shire. ..but still it’s “use it or lose it”. I keep my brain active and learning because it helps them when they need it. I’m good at teaching them stuff, I used to be a tutor, rather than dishing answers so they do learn, but they still come to me with curveballs and I’m like “ha!! You know I’m a genius fool.” I put in extra work filling my brain with everything to learn. Besides the fact I like to learn, it also helps me advance myself to help them.
I think it’s best displayed when I was leaving their house on yesterday. My brother who didn’t really take my coming out too well the previous weekend, which had me a bit down last week, gave me the biggest hug ever. I had to run home like 2 minutes after they got in so we didn’t hang like usual and he just stopped me and didn’t let go for a long time. It was those deep embraces he used to give me before he got them puberty hormones lol. I was so happy and relieved he got around to accepting it.
They matter so much to me. My siblings are everything. Until I go and hit the parenting life anyway.
That’s just my drive. My motivation. I love keeping them happy. What is your motivation? What is your drive? What makes you wake up and say “time to push harder”.
Til next time. Stay frosty.