I guess there arose a moment of life reflection while I was in the back seat of the Explorer laying on my little brother while he was asleep on the drive back home. It was comfortable. We had a long way to go. To be fair, he always makes me his pillow so I guess this was a little “brotherly justice”.
We were out celebrating my other brother’s 16th birthday on Saturday at a steakhouse in New Jersey that he wanted to go to. The food was awesome. The drive was awesome too. It has been so weird, yet wonderful, watching my brother cross these teenage years. From his whiny and temperamental early pubescent phase to the cool and full of himself venture into “young man” status. He is really growing up fast and I couldn’t be more proud of the dude he’s becoming. It’s also pretty cool seeing the ways he takes after me and what he does better than me.
I will NEVER admit that last part to him.
We’ve been through a lot together, him and I, and we are better for it. There’s so much he teaches me that makes me a better person. Makes me want to be a better person. I try pretty hard to make sure I stay up to the standard of the “cool big brother”. Gotta make sure I show out when he wants to keep his friends impressed lol. But also all the lessons I get to give him. I’m incredibly humbled and get a major sense of responsibility because I’m still the one he comes to for his dilemmas and issues.
I will always remember the nervous feeling I had when he first asked me the “sex” question.
But now we are past that and into more detailed questions that make me cringe, but I still answer.
Looking at the pictures of him on my desk here, where I have all my younger siblings, I really see the change over time. ..damn I feel old.. I remember when he told me some kids on his football team were being mean to him and I got out the car ready to kick the crap out of some random, albeit really big, kids.
..The first phone call I got that he skipped months worth of homework.
..His first broken leg.
..His first game winning shot in basketball.
..His first heartbreak. Oh god that was a hard one.
..His foray into breakdancing. Oh god that was a funny one lol. And I got it on video.
Even have this stupid looking and highly inaccurate picture of the United States he drew me in elementary school. It is absolutely terrible, but I keep it in my work space on display because I’m proud he tried.
I really do love this kid. I know, I know. “He’s your brother, you’re supposed to love him.” Honestly I think it’s hard to find a group of siblings as close as we are. Between us brothers and a sister it’s like a seriously unconditional, uncompromising, full acceptance kind of bond between us.
Our kids are going to have fun with each other lol.
Well I guess this post was a bit off the serious life commentary path and a bit on the self-expression side. I don’t think it’ll happen too often, but I’ve also been feeling really paternal this week lately. Maybe it’s because I got some beginning paperwork for my new career that I’m starting to feel like I’m in the next stage of my life.
Til next time. Stay frosty.