If there’s one thing I can say about my brothers and I, is that we definitely have fun. Whether it be play fighting, wrestling, talking about school, my most embarrassing life event, running around the house, or just sitting down watching The Walking Dead and eating pizza.
Yes we are kids in the house, but outside we are the coolest mature-ish people on the streets haha.
You know when they say “it’s the thrill of the chase”? I really hope that’s not the case for me. I like him so much, but my job and lack of free time is killing the relationship for me. One of my friends did tell me that if you like someone you make time for them, but I would if I did have any to spare..which I feel bad about. He really is awesome, but I wanna go back to being friends just so I don’t feel bad about all this.
I have my other reasons, but not now…
I don’t know. I feel like he doesn’t deserve this and I don’t want to be the one doing this. Especially with his newfound slightly overbearing optimism…makes me feel worse about this.
Then again, maybe we will outlast this, rekindle ourselves, and i’ll be in more positive spirits. Although, August still isn’t over yet so there’s a long period to outlast. I know I can cope without seeing eachother for a while…can he?
i kno the sayin is “trials and tribulations” but i wanted to b original. soo, wut do i discuss this time….ooh ooh ooh i kno; how about my very, very bad decision to work and go to skool this yr.
it sucked last yr, not to have money to spend on wut i want, but i think it was better that i wasnt working. cuz i tend to make wuts more immediately beneficial to me my highest priority. last yr, that was skool and i did uber well, now im working so its work, and this’ll b my second horrible semester in a row. like im only takin 3 classes. this shouldve been easier. but i dont have time for anything anymore. i wake up early and go to skool. then i take the trip baq to queens for work. then i come baq home at about 7 – 8 and try to eat dinner and shower. then i gotta go to bed cuz i gotta b up early and do it all over again.
and its not like i dont kno wut to do. i have several options how to fix this, but i dont want to do either of them. i can:
1. take time off from work and skool. recollect my thoughts and jump baq in and recover the end of my semester. but id have to sacrifice money from my paycheck and i could potentially fall behind worse than now
2. i could leave skool till next yr or next semester and just concentrate on work. but id have to sacrifice the money my parents paid 4 these classes. id lose any financial aid for this semester and next. and my health insurance cuz im covered from chase(my old job) as long as im a full-time student. …that would really suck.
3. i could take the rest of afterskool off and come baq in the summer. but id lose any income til the summer cuz i wouldnt b able to only take sum of the yr off. which leaves me underbudgeted 4 food and hangin-out and general apartment stuff expenses.
i just need a planned mental vacation, cuz my head is bogged down. i dont even have the mental capacity left to b with my hot chemistry guy. its just like my head is shut off and my muscles r on autopilot to just do wut i have to so i dont die.
its really times like this, when i miss bein a kid. there werent so many things there to make u go crazy and ur parents just made sure u didnt fail(well the ones that cared anyway).
u kno wut?, skool i can come baq to. let me scrap this semester and work my butt off next one. ill b a little more balanced out, stable, chillaxed to the max. theres not much else i can do…is there?
til next time. stay frosty.
…also big shoutout to nusrat for using my tagline on my facebook. yea, she did more than that, but im tryin not get all mushy.