What is your anxiety reducing state of mind? Where do you run to when you need to breathe? What allows you to purge your negative feelings, your stress, your sadness? What shields you from everything? For me, it would be my beanie.
My hats have superpowers. Continue Reading
like really. of all the high paying jobs my mind is qualified for and i picked the one least likely to lead me in a very profitable life. but wut the hell? i luv it. i often get questioned y would i pick this profession, especially with all the trouble in it. but 2 things really stick out in my head. y i luv it and wut scares me the most about it.
i guess we’ll start with y i luv it.
duh im a pretty patient person. more than most r with the little ones. which i also think speaks alot for wut im gonna b doin wit the rest of my life cuz thats needed much. but i really like the idea of bein a positive influential part of another kid’s life. like, ive gone through skool. nvr wanted to b there of course. but with evry skool ive been too, i can pick out the teacher who made such a big difference in my experience there. made me want to learn. made me want to better my mind. and effectively helped cultivate the semi-genius b4 u today.(i kno that sounded oh so conceded…) i just want to b wut those ppl were to me for the next kid. like a passing of knowledge and compassion. mayb thats y ive crammed so much random knowledge in my head cuz i dish it out evrywhere i can. not in a “i kno more than u way” but more of a “take this i, absorb it, and use it for urself”. i think the perfect comparison would b to the book The Giver. they stopped readin it in skool about when i was there so if u havent read it, i highly recommend it. well in a nutshell, thats my motive.
moving on to my fear about it.
imma just lose it. im probably like the most textbook case passive aggressive person youll meet. totally. i will take shit and take and take then blow up later. this is y, as a precaution, i do things to let off steam. that built up pressure. i blog, i workout, and i play handball. which is y i think i hit the ball extremely hard when i just let go. like my mind has an auto vent switch that goes off sometimes witout me noticing. which now u probably c my worry. wut if that were to happen when im wit a kid or sumthin. besides looking bad, it can b highly destructive and id rather not voluntarily put another person in the blast radius of my explosions. ive already had my little bro in the ring of a little one and it will nvr happen again. but i just worry about when i run out of outlets….
all in all. its wut i do. ive been teaching since i had the knowledge to pass. and i think im one of those ppl who will die teaching. and i mean that in evry sense of the word. theres nuthin else i imagine myself doing forever. and lol, if u notice i didnt mention anythin about me bein mad broke on my mind about this job. yea, givin my lifestyle it surprises me too. and the gay thing…ill deal with later. besides they wont need to kno. my kids dun kno now lolz
til next time. stay frosty