Boi Growing Up

What is your anxiety reducing state of mind? Where do you run to when you need to breathe? What allows you to purge your negative feelings, your stress, your sadness? What shields you from everything? For me, it would be my beanie.

My hats have superpowers.

Everyone has trouble coping sometimes. Even the most “brave” people have moments of insecurity. People get scared or weary. I think that everyone just has a fallback that helps them along. That the people with crippling anxiety haven’t come across theirs yet. This isn’t to say that we ourselves don’t have the inner strength to go on, but that sometimes there needs to be an external force to pull out what’s already there. Comparable to a catalyst in a chemical reaction. The energy is contained and it just needs to be unlocked.

Like a little blue ball transports you to a world in your head where everything is possible again.

My world has lots of marshmallows.

Oh and that Naked Juice drink thing. Those are delicious.

A doctor has their lucky stethoscope. An artist has a brush that he always uses. That rock climber never leaves without a specific backpack. A random guy has to talk to his mother in law at least once a week. My younger twin brother calls me during every fit. I have my beanie. Or how in the movie Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close, the little kid had to shake his tambourine whenever he felt nervous.

My beanie never leaves me.

You can always find me with one. Every season from the brickness of Winter, when it sits on my head, to the scorching heat or Summer, when it’s comfortably in my back pocket. One of the front desk attendants at my job even made a note that if I’m ever spotted without my hat, something is wrong. So true because I am lost without it. My thoughts come through unclear, I feel too cold, I’m not as calm, and I definitely feel way too visible. I like feeling “under the radar”.

Don’t think it’s to hide my hair though. I get regular haircuts.

Seeing the world from a place of security is a wonderful thing. Getting to observe and operate without worry opens you to more. You aren’t freaked out by failure or apprehensive about what may come. Having a safety net makes you feel like nothing can go wrong. Like everything instantly becomes attainable. That’s a great thing. It’s what will propel you forward.

The real skill though is, fabricating a figurative safety net in your mind without actually utilizing one in reality. I only barely get that right, but my beanie is never too far away on those occasions.

Til next time. Stay…warm because it’s wayyyyy too cold. Especially here in the NYC.

..After The Jump..

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