u have to have gone through this at sum point in ur life. u have so many diff groups of friends that ur close with and at sum point in time, they all happen to want u to do sumthin with them either all at once or one in immediate succession after the other. and the really crappy thing is that u happen to want to do all of them, and u instinctively say yes. but in time u come to realize, there is sumthin holdin u baq from doin them all and the most painstaking choice arises….which group(or groups) makes the cut.

for most ppl(i cant say all cuz i kno not evryone sees it this way. i kno i dont) its like the friends u choose to participate with r the ones that make the cut in ur life. like they matter the most to u, or they’re the only ones that do matter to u. and who u didnt choose to hang with, is viewed as crap by u…and then later on they come to b less of a friend to u in response to ur decision.

but this isnt always the case. mayb u just cant do them all. mayb u dont have enough money, or u cant take off work for all those days, or sumthin really important and unavoidable like that. sumtimes friends understand and sumtimes they dont care about the reason cuz they’re too far pissed(and hurt) u didnt pick them. and u would assume the tru friends would get it, right?…..but this isnt always the case. sumtimes emotions block all rational thought. and this is where i am a firm believer in pure emotional absence from choices(although i cheat sumtimes).

now to me…

of course i mention myself in all my posts, wut would a personal blog b without my personal relation? duh, evry post i make has sumthin to do with my situation. i just liked stating that for sum stupid reason.

but anyway, my sitch is this. i got 3 things in june, one is preplanned since last yr….a trip to six flags with my best friends from HS. yes we r making this an evry yr thing so this cant b sacrificed. this trip is like a bf thing where u keep the bonds up by making sure u have a “hoorah” evry yr. like in the movies where buddies have been goin on annual fishin trips together for like 20yrs or sumthin. yes, its that deep.

but the real trouble comes from the 2 other trips. one is with my new best friends from college. im mad cool with them and i am really lucky to have found such great ppl when im just starting skool. they’re a real support system here and i can say id b a little lost without them(do not get all emotional on me when u read this adaiah) anyways we’re driving upstate(hopefully ill b in the driver’s seat) and renting a cabin for a couple of days, like 4 or 5 i think….im really not sure. it would b a cool bonding trip for all of us(or potentially disastrous but im optimistic). total necessity.

next we have one of my best friends in the whole wide world jonathan. knew him since sophomore yr in HS and dude has been there for me alot. even got me to come out alot faster to evryone than i thought i would(its actually a funny story, ill tell it another time) but anyway, he wants me to go to nj to an anime festival. its like 3 days out there and he knos ive always wanted to go to one(but im not feeling the 3 extra ppl i dont kno part). this is also a necessity.

but c my dilemma?….i either crush my new best friends or i crush my old best friend. wut to do, wut to do….
if i had more bodies, id just make myself b in multiple places.(or have multiple jobs)

oh but the reason i have to choose u ask? well, put simply. i cant afford it.

til next time. stay frosty