There will always be those questions that throw me off guard. I think that’s just the dynamic of siblings. The younger ones seem to always want to keep the older ones on their toes. Especially when the older one is 7 years older and is basically an adult now who thinks he is ready for anything that they can dish out. But once in a while, there is always that question. And maybe that question can be caught in the older sibling’s defense in time and brushed off.
But the followup statement will get you.
One way or another, they get you.
“What would you do if I found out I was gay?”
Ok. Yes I could pick apart the “I found out” part of that question, but I’m not jumping into the “origin of sexuality in an individual” debate right now. I care more that my little brother asked his gay older brother what he would do.
I proceeded to laugh, told him I wouldn’t do anything, made a response comparable to commenting on the stupidity of the question in my opinion, and dropped it. Well, it was dropped in my head and apparently not his. He then continued on the subject and said “if he found out he was gay, he would cry.” I looked up from my phone at him across the bedroom and said “what, why?”
See? One way or another, they get you.
My little brother knows I’m gay, they all do at this point with the exception of my 3 year old brother (Who has actually been the reason why I’ve been gone for so long. My head has been in a whirlwind on that one.). I actually told him when he turned 15 and I turned 22. ..same birthday.. I told him earlier than the other two because I felt as close as we were, being twins and all, he should know. Even though I was also just barely getting a grasp on it at that time as well. To give you a time perspective, I had just come out a few months after my 18th birthday. I don’t think I cried though like he thinks he would.
Maybe I had an interesting coming out post instead hahaha.
But his reason for potentially having such an emotional breakdown was valid. I’m not going to go into it because that’s his own private thoughts he decided to share. Unless he decides to write in this space his thoughts about it, but I won’t do it for him. Let me also say I have no doubt in my mind that he is like 200% hetero.
In case he decides to read this like “Wtf Cory” haha. His porn choice is weird, but he is a teenager. And no gay guy would ever watch that.
I really had to think about how I would react if he approached me with that reality. Or take the next step and try to imagine myself being him approaching me with that. I debated for a long time how to go to them with the confession of my sexuality, I never thought about them having to come to me. Guess there’s that hetero-normality thing causing assumptions. I make sure they know that I’m open for anything and everything, which is probably why I get talks and questions like this.
So how would I react?
Nothing. I would say ok. Sit him down and try and make sure he understands what that means and that he isn’t just putting a label on himself because he thinks he has to. I would give him a big hug. Then tell him to take his ass in the room and leave me alone while I’m playing my xbox. I think that last part might be the most important even though at first glance it may seem cold. That’s my way of showing him it’s not a big deal.
It is a big deal in the rest of society, but not in the grand scheme of our relationship. That’s how I think it should be. I care more about his SAT grade than I do about who he makes out with. I just have different priorities. I understand it can be a big deal and I would hope I’d be prepared for it, but I want it be comparable to them liking provolone cheese and not cheddar.
Yeah I compared sexuality to cheese. Sue me.
Let’s be honest though. If it wasn’t for the big debate and discrimination of rights in this country, sexuality wouldn’t be that major of an issue. It is like picking your preferred dairy product. Not like you can dictate what your taste buds can tolerate either yet some people think a person chooses……I’m not doing this right now. This post will end up being thousands of words long.
But that’s how I would react. It shouldn’t be something so massive to illicit a reaction that would make him hesitate before coming to me. Haha although I know his dad would be like “you’ve been hanging out with your brother too much” :in a tense voice:
Sexuality is a part of you, but it doesn’t make you who you are.
How should I react anyway?
Til next time. Keep enjoying the transition into Spring.