Boi Growing Up

So I reconnected, sortof reconnected because we always talked on and off for years, with one of my old kids from my first year at my job. Back when I was just a junior counselor.

…where have all the years gone?

In the midst of us catching up, we talked about a couple of interesting topics. I’m only going to talk about one here, but maybe I’ll post about the others. The topic that I’m choosing to be of main focus right now is “our life directions”.

If you pay any attention to my taglines or quotes along the 7 year, almost 8 year, journey on my blog, you’d notice a concurrent theme with how my experiences led me to direct my life..it’s best summed up in this quote I’ve created to describe myself:

“I’m just that little boy on the corner observing the way the world works.”

I shall dissect and explain this description for you of course..in case you don’t see how this fits me perfectly.

Remember when I was younger, I was always by myself. The independent kid while his parents were working. Learning on his own. Lacking the direct nurturing that someone in a loving home would normally receive..hence why I’m on the corner. I’m looking for something, rather intently seeking and searching for that which I don’t get at home. It’s led me out into the world and I’ve hit the intersection. To a little kid who has never explored yet, to the shy kid who is afraid of what he doesn’t know, that intersection is scary. So he waits at the corner, doesn’t know what he’s waiting for, but he waits anyway.

Oh I hope you understand the “boy” part. I do happen to be of the male variety lol.

But this kid, while waiting and hoping to see that which he needs, but doesnt know what it is, feels comfortable in that spot and sits there. And is overwhelmed by all that occurs in the little intersection of his. The cars, the people, the air, the smells, the interactions, the frights, the celebrations, the mournings, the beginnings and ends. He takes it all in and is observing. This is what he is growing up to participate in and he needs to learn where he will fit in. He needs to learn how he’s going to merge into the endlessly flowing traffic of life. He must pay attention to, not only what is going on, but to why it is happening. The underlying motives, that driving force of everything. The “cogs in the machine” if you will.

And he learns. Oh does he learn.

But he doesn’t go back home with what he’s learned because his reason for being on the corner is still there. He is still missing something. That which he doesn’t know yet, but still isn’t there. Days and nights go by and now he feels he can venture off to let the traffic take him to other places where he can uncover more ways to search. More luck to find whatever it is he’s looking for. He lands in new places. Meets new people. Some hurt him and it scars him beyond repair. He returns to the corner shaken, but not defeated. He ventures in the traffic again, ever so careful, masterfully using what he has learned from all he’s observed. He finds interactions that give him pieces of what he thinks he needs and it’s wonderful. He returns to his corner, not of pain this time, but of the need to relax. There’s so much good out there that it overwhelms him. Too much to take in.

His biggest, most pleasureable observation? ..the teaching of others and the desire to spread joy. He decides that’s what he will do. So he leaves his corner, but with more maturity and a different motive. He’s no longer observing for only himself to learn, he wants…no he NEEDS to observe so he can pass on all his vast experiences and knowledge to the others on the corners waiting for what they don’t know yet. He NEEDS to teach the paths that will lead the explorers down streets of least pain and resistance thereby spreading only joy.

He has found what he needed all along.

…alright I’m going to try to take myself out of the 3rd person now, but it’s so much fun to write like that. I guess I’ll have to change my life quote too because I’m not only “observing” now.

…til part 2. Stay frosty.