So I was at the nyc pride parade yesterday and it was an experience. It wasn’t my first time, but it was still something pretty cool again. Except body glitter doesn’t come off that easy lol.
But the atmosphere there was incredible. Its like that’s one place, no matter what, that we can be so open, wild, and crazy. And I love that feeling. With my personality I have the burden of having to come out repeatedly because everyone assumes im straight when they meet me. Sometimes im thankful for that unintentional subtleness because it helps me blend in where the fact that im gay would make things predictably uneasy. Still there’s a time when I have to come out and until then im “hiding”. Like 90% out, 10% not.
Although when anyone asks me if I am gay, I dont deny it.
But at the parade, at that gay bar, walking in the village, these are places where I feel that 10% let out and the weight lifted. Like I can breathe and not have to worry about how someone is going to take it. Or will I keep the same status I worked so hard for. Or will I be looked at differently. I can just be me fully and being gay is just a part of me.
I remember back to my post where I first came out and I said I only cared about the reaction and acceptance of my best friends. In theory that’s still valid, but im an adult in the real world and that isn’t a realistic stance to take. It matters because I can potentially have alot of roadblocks in my way, especially with my chosen career path.
I don’t know. I don’t think im going to change that yet. Lol I wont be completely freed until I walk into work with a rainbow button included on my bag. ..I love buttons..
Til next time. Stay frosty.