ahh. i must say its always at the times when i have nothing to do when i start to get all “inner thinking” on myself. so im in the car, my stepbro was drivin me baq to queens, and there was this love song on the radio. u kno how on tv there’s like a scene where there’s sum thought provoking music in the background and there’s a person lookin out the window wit the wind blowin through their hair? think of that scene and thats wut my ride was like.
so the thought popped in my head. it’s wierd how im like im happily single. when sumtimes its more painful than breaking up with sumone. but it that idea, that evryone needs sumone. sumone to give themselves to, to b close with, to confide in, to b there when u need it the most. and bein single for so long i guess i just got used to bein that for myself, but its not always so easy i guess.
i would really like sumone to share my life with, but its not that simple. i filled the position for that sumone wit stuff. a job, skool things like that. i completely shut out the possibility of gettin involved and now i want it more than anything. its like a quote from my fav movie its a scene where mew and tong r laying down and he explains the lonliness in his life. its really touching. u all should kno my fav movie.(ill put it as the doing now thing)
i guess i just want that special sumone. i dont think even my best friends would understand this. either they’re in a relationship or they’ve had that big one. it kindof sucks bein the one to make sure evryone else’s relationship goes smoothly and im the 3rd wheel that they try to have hang wit them.
but as always, i deal. and i keep my head down. and i keep my life going. cuz the world doesnt stop for ur probs right?
til next time. stay frosty