so, for teh most part i guess life is goin good. no real problems, sure im still in the middle of a friend war, but thats only slightly fustratin and startin to b a little fun. i think u have to fully understand me to really c the little bit of fun im havin in my switzerlandish country. but then i get a really big shock to electrocute the gentle wavy balance in my life. and this is teh biggest decision/adjustment ive ever had to make i guess.
dont get me wrong its not a totally bad thing, just…no wait, i cant find a word atm to describe it….
u kno how when ur younger, u and ur best friends play around like “i wish i could live with u”. its fun to think of such things and in the baq of our minds we never concieve of them happening. but wut happens when it does happen. or better yet, it probably is in the best interests of that person if that were to happen. wut then? ahh…the actuality of reality hits u. its not as easy as u think.
im not at liberty to fully discuss the situation which is y im only giving my thoughts.
dont get me wrong. from the sounding of this post, its like i dont want to help him. of course i do. he’s really like a bro to me and i vow to always b there when he needs me. its just that… i dont kno wut it is. ever since he asked me, its been on my mind constantly. part of me is excited. liek really excited. my homie in my home thats insane cool. although we werent supposed to get our apartment til a couple of yrs further off, but hey…wuts the diff. then the other part is like this is wayyyyy to complicated. i have a whole separate step-family that im with alot and i live in another borough for the entire summer. would he b able to adjust here wit me and my mom? plus, would living together hurt our friendship? u kno when couples move in with eachother then its like “eww. i so wanna breakup”. ..but i highly doubt that, we too tight.
and dont think, im doin all this behind my mom’s baq. she’s actually ok with it, like really. yea i was shocked too.
its just that, i wanna do this. my only fear is that, i fail to b the help he needs and i disappoint him. he’s like been the first, closest thing to a tru best friend since my bf moved away in elementary skool. tight bonds arent built so easily and i dont want to break it cuz i miscalculated its strength against an “earthquake”(i went all physics mode there. im also preoccupied with a life goal of mine. …im goin to design the perfect heat engine. e = 1).
i just want a flawless execution. this can either b fine and we’re that much stronger becuz of it, or …well yea.
til next time. stay frosty.
thats it, its nerve-wrecking. i knew id find a way to describe it.