So I’m here at the gym(my itouch basically gives me the ability to blog anywhere I luv it.). I’m doin my cardio at the beginning so I’m not really usin my arms right now. But I’m thinking and i’m really like “y am I doin all this?” and I have no idea y lol. And my inability to work out in Little Neck is not helpin the sitch cuz I dun like the gym at Jamaica.

But I guess I do just do it for the boys.

 Isn’t that y we all do it? For that person or prospect that we wanna look good for. Ok here’s a story that just happened. So me and my coworker r on the bus and these high skool kids from Lewis decide to mess wit us. First I was pissed off cuz they were messin up my convo. Then a kinda fit senior decided to join in and I gotta say he was hella cute. So me seein a way out rather than lettin these boys get on my nerves, I started tlkin to him. And I didn’t regret it. I dun think he caught on, but I was flirtastic with him and then he started actin like a mature person and started holdin a conversation. But his ghetto ass friend was still the immature dumbass tryin to make jokes. I used my interest to diffuse a potentially hostile sitch into a calm one. It was fun. 

Then we got off the bus and we r here now. 

But while I’m on my finely toned ass, pedaling this bike away at an insanely high level, Im thinking “y am I goin so hard?” I’m pretty darn good looking already. I’m not perfect, but I’m kinda well maintained. I’m at the gym evryday, I run, I diet, I take supplements, muscle builders, metabolic rate increasers, and vitamins. I really dun need all this. Yet the benefit is that my body did a radical shape change really fast. It’s not even like I’m in a contract pay plan…I can quit when i want to. 

I kno wut it is… I’m fuckin afraid to b fat again. 

Purely afraid. 

There’s a saying “the uglier u r, the harder ur life is” and it’s tru. Things come alot easier and ppl relations is so much better now than I’m relatively attractive. 

(my butt is startin to hurt.)

And that’s scary, but I use it to my advantage. Besides I hate to say, but my kids r brutal man. They pick on the “not so hot” counselors kinda harshly. Like whoaness. 

Another thing, I like to stick on the sidelines. Unattractive ppl r pushed into the middle and ridiculed. I get to stay on the side and live happy. I like happy. Or as one of my other friends would say “I’m content”.

Well my cardio time is about to end so imma wrap this up. I basically workout cuz I’m a scared person. And if you’ve been wit my blog for a long time, u kno there r alot of things that scare me. I guess different things about life motivate different ppl. Unfortunately fear is a motivator for me. 

Til next time. Stay frosty.

“Touch this skin honey. Touch all of this skin darling. You can’t take it. You’re just an overgrown orangutan.” – RuPaul