As I take the long way home, a trip that I love so much, I find myself in a nice bubble of thought.
I hate my coworkers. I have insane seperation anxiety. I’m incredibly lazy. I’m vastly intelligent. I pictured the end of my relationship and I did it perfectly..but I kinda miss his personality being around. I don’t wanna sleep around anymore. I’d be depressed a lot more if it wasn’t for video games. Im depressed. Im in a situation where in order for me to change, I’d have to disrupt multiple relationships I care about. I love my cellphone. I’d kill for a bmw..yes literally I’d do it no hesitation. I’m a bhuddist, but i’m a bad one..well not a perfect one and enlightenment is a very long and hard process. I hate my life, but it could be so much worse.
And last, but not least, I still work best alone.
My mind takes me to very far away places and random thoughts, but I still stay in reality. We all have so many things about us or in our lives we don’t particularly enjoy. I don’t like change. Well it’s not that I don’t like change, but it’s more I take the path that requires least change and resistence. One example…Instead of pushing hard to find a new job that pays me more and more hours, I game with my best friend because it’s our way to be with eachother and I don’t want to leave my little brothers at my job(we have some cute new pictures together I have to put in the pic section).
Lately I’ve just been coasting. Im so not happy, but I feel smothered by my world around me that I can’t move to fix anything.
What do you do when you’re in a hole? A hole you’ve dug. A hole you’ve dug too deep to get back out. I thought it was going to take me out to the other side of the world, but I hit the dense core and feel like I can’t go on.
Til next time. Stay frosty.