Boi Growing Up

Ready for another convoluted rant from a boy growing up?

Divorce damages all kids, all the time.

That was the prominent thought in my head on my way to work this morning. I don’t know why, but it was there. It was on my brain during work. It’s on my mind now after work as I am typing this. I’m giving advanced notice; I am judging this based on the sample that 100% of the people I know have been irrevocably altered by a separation of their parents. Oh and “damage” doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Damage is just a deviation from perfection. Your mind does start off innocent and pure. No influence from anything. ..then someone or something messes it up.

Why is that when the ones that created us decide to move on without eachother, that our state of mind is harmed? In a good or bad way, but is changed. The argument can be said, if I’m leaving it open to the positive or negative, that any experience changes you, but not really. If your mind is stubborn enough, nothing, except for the most traumatic of scenarios, will change you. Although divorces, damn they have a way of breaking through anyone. Young or old. Tall or short. Boy or girl. Smart or not so smart. Resilient or vulnerable.

Lets hit up a small list. Shall we?

For privacy purposes I’ll use different names because it’s a different thing when you’re using specific examples not of yourself.

Shaniqua was a teenager when her mom and dad split. Acts of infidelity from her dad caused this. Shaniqua, now, is super critical of guys she dates. Probably a good change because you can’t be too careful with who you may fall in love with. Bible, a guy, was a bit younger and of the same family. Now doesn’t even bother settling down with any female companion. Keeps it open and free, avoiding infidelity altogether. Tony’s parents’ split was a bit turbulent, but they tried to keep it secluded from him. He saw enough. unfortunately he didn’t get to see his dad and his mom had to work all the time. So from a young age he was alone. Now he’s an adult and the most self-sufficient loner he could possibly be. Also maybe a good thing, but it’s caused by his skepticism of what anyone may be hiding.

That one is mine. Get it? Cory Braxton..Toni Braxton..Tony is the guy version of Toni. If you know the singer you’d get it.

Ooh here’s a good one. Leonardo was barely past the halfway point to puberty when his parents’ marriage ended. Turbulent is an understatement for that situation. He got no attention because of all the drama, so he did bad things to be noticed. Seriously though, he, my brother, shit on a floor at school haha. He was only paid attention to when he was in trouble. Eventually he got tired of being trouble so now he pays no one attention and only cares about himself. That’s definitely a bad thing. His older brother Anteater tries to fix everyone’s problems and they never concern him because him, as a more cognizant little kid, watched helplessly.

Those are just a few examples. Honestly if I kept going, this would be a ridiculously long post.

I will not say divorces always force a change for the worse. That’s not true. Sometimes they show you something you never knew about yourself and you gain self-discovery. Sometimes you become a person who is scared of forming a lasting relationship with another human being. Sometimes they give you an ability or sense you’ll need later in life and you evolve into something greater. Change isn’t always bad, but this situation is one of those major ones that ALWAYS bring a change. I think that’s my point, if I seek to have one.

I hope it sounds like I have one.

Maybe thinking about my parents’ own split and how unavoidable that alteration was, got me thinking more in depth about it. About all the ones I know about.

But seriously..that shit blew apart my perfect spoiled kid life.

And turned me into this hot mess.

I actually like being this way though.

A longer process to making friends though.

Ooooh. I got a new thought in my head.

Til next time. Stay frosty.

p.s. Just in case you didn’t hear it from someone today, I love you. You are a special person. Even if you’re an ass. You’re still a special ass and that’s cool too. :]