Boi Growing Up

Largely inspired by a conversation I had prior to sitting and posting tonight, I had a moment of inner reflection. I have always said that I have no imagination. I believe it wholeheartedly.

I also hate writing. Don’t ask me how I have a blog then, let alone a third one. It’s one of the hypocrisies in my head.

In me there is no imagination. I don’t play pretend. I never had a real fixation on Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy. I have no ability to act. I honestly think the only reason my mind allowed itself to follow Buddhism out of all religions is because it’s more based on ideals than an intangible super being.

That is not a shot at Christians. Not today.

However, I can formulate a universe in my head from books because I can visualize off the description given to me. I think that’s a good indication of the inner workings of my head. I can manipulate what is given to me in the context of what is given, but I can’t allow my mind, or rather my mind won’t allow itself, to venture “out of the box” and be original. ..as long as you don’t define creating a new product out of already existing parts as original. I do have a very powerful mind of manipulation. For what I lack in the creative, I make up for in point-blank brain power intelligence. It’s why I have such a grand affinity towards mathematics.

Seriously it is basically manipulating a situation being restricted to rules already set for you. Math is awesome. At any difficulty or level or intricacy.

You have no idea the struggle it was to let my youngers brother keep believing in the Easter Bunny. That probably was the extent of all my brain could power through haha.

I just find dealing with the certain comforting. I don’t need to create. I don’t need to fabricate. No need to venture into the imaginary. I can’t even stand cartoons. I’m the ass who sits there like “that can’t happen” or “why didn’t they just do…” or some other bubble bursting statement to breed resentment and a desire to have the words “shut up” directed towards me. I see the unreal as dangerous because it lacks logic and logic helps me sleep at night.

I like my sleep.

I wasn’t scared of the dark. No Boogie Man existed for me. Babies weren’t dropped off by a stork. Magic tricks are nothing, but explanable illusions. Planes never flew on invisible anything. Haha, I am a religionist’s nightmare. I measure life in qualitative properties.

There is no possible unknown.

Only the undefined.

Wrap your mind around that.

Til next time. Stay frosty.