Boi Growing Up

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2010

Monday-Monday,night and day are all interchangeable with time. Time is infinite and went on long before we existed, and will continue after we eventually perish. Knowing that gave me more anger waking up 4:06 AM wednesday morning to attend school. Unfortunately, society has a strong set of rules regarding time. Whether it involves the expectation of quick fastfood service or extremely large sex orgies, we all have standards for making time work for us. Today was an attempt to make it work for myself.

So let’s see. I’ve been falling behind on my readings, staying up late night to compensate for the lack of time I have due to working 4 day weekends, and waking up early mornings to recollect myself for the day. My tolerance has sharply decreased and my suppressed aggravation molded my normal calmness into a rather malignant coldness, contrasted to the obsession of getting ahead in my work.

It’s not all bad though. On a brighter note, I already put my plan for a better job into motion when I got wind of the COPE program designed to help low income families with job placements, travel, resume, the works. The staff seems very cool, and one in particular knows of a professor who know has a partnership for a popular private investigating agency. I intend to find out more about him later.

Despite my efforts to catch the 5:55 train. Due to whatever circumstances, the J,F and D train ran rather slowly, resulting in me getting to school at 7:30. MUCH later than i expected to. The main plan was to quickly print out the holy bible :genesis for lit class (my prof insist that anyone who does not have the book shall not come to class………………….because he can do that), and catch up on my constitutional law reading because i have 7 cases to reveiw, and 4 to brief… My lit class didn’t start til 9:40 so i had plenty of time to get this task down, and then it would be time to boogie down with some classical music as i read the cases………..too bad all the printers in the computer lab was down. No worries, there are additional labs on the 2nd, and 4th floor…. NOPE, all were locked, and it was likely those printers were down. Hmmm the library opened at 830. and dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum, their computers are down as well. What were the chances that my prof would let me just few the book from my laptop? ZERO

at 920 i managed to find someone to print from their flashdrive so i wouldnt have to depend on John jay’s faltered technology, just in time for class. I had a few minutes to read the book, but i could barely stay awake.  So much for the law book. I didn’t see the point in getting the book though seeing that I didn’t utter one word in the class. I might as well be absent. Fell in and out of sleep during class, so ill have to make up for that on monday.. At 10:55 college style “sunday school” was over, and i was extremely groggy. I had the choice to either go to thy gym, or take a nap before my philosophy class at three………………….

There’s one huge advantage of working out(especially with cardio) The test of willpower. I wanted to stay off my knee for a few weeks, so i decided to use the bikes. For 30 min out of the 90 working out, i was in my own world. Trying to keep myself going over 100mph for 30 straight min on level 8, willing my legs to speed it’s tempo, and my breathing to remain deep and inaudible. I wanted  to quit within the first 10 min but i stuck it out, and by then i felt like i can go on forever. After a test of biceps, chest, shoulders, forearms, thighs, and cardio, it was time to get a bite to eat. Nothing would be smoother than a sweet onion chicken terry…with all the vegetables possible with a nice chocolate milk. My mood was slightly elevated and i wouldnt mind having a conversation, since the last time i spoke was around 9 this morning. Along the way i ran into two high school kids(for anyone who want to know the race im not sure so, black, latino, mixed, both, neither, who knows hahass) , and I knew that wanted some business with me.

I made eye contact and knew they wanted something. I could just ignore them and i would be at subways within a few minutes, but out of curiosity, and somewhat decency, i stopped and grilled them. Not the most welcoming look, but i was lost in thought.

Kid1and2: yo can you do us a favor

Me:………………….what?

kid1: you got a license

me: I dont smoke………( i thought he said “lighter”)

Kid2: not even, we just need someone over 18 to buy a dutch for us cuz they wont give it to us

Me: go to another deli

Kid 1&2: nah they all like that (something like this lolz)

Me:that’s good for you

Kid 1:*grills me*whaddu you mean “good for us”

Me: you’re young, hopefully in your last high school days. you’ll have plenty of chances to get high and get hit by a bus

and with that i walked on ahead. My responses were nicer than what I wanted to say, but still wasn’t appropriate. Oh wells, I was honest with what I said. My “brothas” failed to notice that every person they stopped to ask in front of the very deli they wanted the dutch from, would only draw more suspicion from the two cop cars positioned right across the street, and the deli workers who just happened to have a phone close by as they watched to see what my convo with them were about. I didn’t want to waste more time, when i had a japanese exam to pass/fail/risk and a philosophy exam right before it.

Ill skip those unimportant factors to the train ride at the end. My last attempt of the day to read the law book came to an end with a very motivated preacher just happened to be in my cart that time. Being that i was in the middle of a crowded train with fat, old, and bewildered faces grilling anyone who breathes their air, i was inclined to stay on this cart and use the powers of my isolation headphones to block him out and read my book.  I could barely focus on the passages and it unnerved me like no other.

I didn’t. Ironically, he was one of the few train preachers who actually made sense with his points. He came off intellectually and precise. I did not agree with his thoughts on religion, I did agree with the simple things in life being taken for granted. Here I am, stressing about my classes, when ppl are struggling to pay for tuition to attend school. I started to think back on my day, as he preached on about poverty, and betrayal. I do have a lot going on right now, but schooling/working 7 days a week is not the only factor of my life, so why am i obsessing over such trifles that are trivial to people who go dumpster diving for their daily meal? Or avoiding social contact for my goals when people are dying left and right, or moving away somewhere. I knew if i continued to obsess, i would revert back to my earlier ways, and that would be catastrophic to everything im working for at the moment. The guy kept preaching, and I kept thinking. Breathing was suddenly unnoticeable. The words on the pages became clearer, and my facial expression became somewhat neutral.

“Time is infinite”. I’m sticking with those words regardless.
Feel free to tell me your thoughts

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http://www.tmac2271.blogspot.com

sry thomas, i couldnt put the pics in. but im late gettin to bed and im teaching in the morning.

til next time. stay frosty