im not sure how much longer i can hold on to my insides. i cant keep stretchin myself to be the funny guy at home, quiet & unnoticeable on the bus, smart around adults, stupid wit sum friends, a pushover to others, a big guy to the rest. the mental strain is too much. i totally wanted to beat the shit out of this kid today in my gym class. its hard to stay calm, but i made it this far.

and i got a question today. “y do u let joey push u around so much? u should just kick his ass.” i said,”cuz hes an older brother. figuratively speaking.” i really thought,”if u only knew y i did it, u wouldnt say anything.”