You ever just get the feeling of…”wander”? I just want to be somewhere else, somewhere different. Not particularly because I want to go there, wherever “there” is, but I just don’t want to be “here”. Take me anywhere.
“Here” is where my stress is. “Here” is where I have to work. “Here” is where I’m stuck in my apartment. “Here” is where I can’t be alone. “Here”, things are constantly moving and my soul needs to take a break. But if I stop running the routine while I’m here, then “here” will trample me. I just wanna be at a new “here”, a “there”.
I’m sitting in Penn Station, the major interstate train station for NYC. I see the travelers with their luggage. Some waiting in front of screens, some going down escalators to board, and some dashing off to their next place now that they’ve arrived. Everyone has a destination. Everyone, except for me. Everyone is going to see something new or back from it. Everyone, except for me.
I so want to be one of them. I want to be going somewhere. My bag could be small, my stay away temporary, but I want one. I have no idea why I long to be gone, although it could be because I’m not happy. It’s possible, a trip could change that, but it doesn’t answer “why?”
Why am I not happy here?
Why am I not happy?